Being forced to slow down

I cannot deny that I am greatly annoyed with having to slow down this much.  Nothing wrong with my mind, and I luckily do not suffer from any type of  depression.  Having said that, I also cannot deny that I am feeling kind of sorry for myself.  It will pass and I will adjust to this new normal.

I adjusted back in 2003 when I went from being super mom, to not being able to move.  It was actually Christmas 2002 when it hit me, feels like it happened overnight.  I had to adjust then, and it was really hard.  I can still recall how I felt inside, and certain movies and television shows I was watching, suffering in silence.  My kids were still young, and I didn't want to scare them.   It was like I was taken by storm, my entire life was swept up and taken out to sea, never to return.  I guess this recent setback with my feet and ankles will take me time to adjust to, but I don't like not being able to get out of the house on my own, and I need to purchase a little electric cart to get around.

Having to sit and/or lay down with my feet up is like torture.  I think of the things I want to be doing, and I can feel my blood pressure raising.  Sometimes I imagine myself hiking to the top of a mountain at sunset, and imagine the sun shining and feeling the warmth.  

I can't always control the way I feel about this, and is why I at times feel sorry for myself.  I get annoyed, irritable, and short tempered.

My husband is the RA champ, he really is wonderful.  He is always very positive and matter of fact about the reality.  Today, I couldn't get up, and just felt awful in general.  I called him at work to see if he'd pick up some items at the store before he comes home.  I later texted him and said I was taking a hot bath and maybe I'd be able get to the store.  It took me hours, but I did manage to make it to the store.

Each day I find some reason to get up, and move about.   Since this nonsense with my feet and ankles, I find myself spending more time in the house than ever.  Bathing, washing my hair, getting dressed, and putting on make up is a struggle.  Trying to keep my life somewhat normal is a challenge.