I find myself suffering a lot, in silence. My amazing husband deserves to be recognized, awarded for being not only a hard worker, an amazing dad, but also an amazing husband and caretaker of me, his wife. He has always adored me regardless of what I look like, and has been behind me 100% of the time. This man will bend down and pick me up off of the floor when I cannot get up. He will wash my hair for me, help me get dressed, and drive me many miles just to drop me off at my moms house when I cannot drive. I dont stay silent because I'm worried about him being upset, I often feel like a burden. And I, too, get sick and tired of sounding like a broken record. Seriously, how many times can he ask, whats wrong, and I answer, my ankles and feet feel like they are being stabbed to death. It gets old, hearing about the same thing over and over again, year after year.
How do others cope with this much suffering and still enjoy their life? How do you continue with a normal life when you have uncontrolled pain? And when I go to lunch or dinner, the last thing I want to talk about and focus on are my feet. But at the same time, when you are the one suffering, it seems to be almost impossible not to talk about it, or even worse, pretend its not happening, and suffer in silence. You dont really know if another person is suffering, because I am here to tell you its perfectly possible to fool everyone. I may seem aloof, detached, my mind someplace far, far away, I may not answer a question correctly being overwhelmed with chronic pain, but I want to be a better person, and I want to make others aware that you never really know is someone is suffering with some disease, trying to be like a chameleon, and trying to fool even themselves.
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